Astonishing Letters!
December 7, 2000
Can't we all not get along so much?
You guys agree too much. I went through all your 60 second
reviews and previews looking for where you might have different
opinions, but I couldn't find any. When are you going to disagree
on something? For all I know, you're both the same person.
-R. King
We do confess to a certain lack of dramatic tension, even when
it comes to controversial issues. We both didn't like Deus Ex
and we both loved Shadow Watch. The complete lack of dramatic
tension must not be very entertaining for you. So we went back
to the notes from our seventh grade creative writing class and
looked up the three forms of dramatic tension.
There's man vs. man, which we can't quite muster. Then
there's man vs. himself. We considered presenting that
by digging up the angst-ridden poetry we wrote in seventh grade
creative writing classes when we weren't drawing dungeons on graph
paper. However, that would be embarassing for everyone involved,
so we moved on to the third form of dramatic tension: man vs.
nature. Mark and I will try to fight nature more often in
the future to insure a certain level of dramatic tension on the
website.
Starting today, in an effort to fight nature, Tom will start
throwing away those plastic binders from six packs without breaking
the loops. Next week, Mark is going to pour discarded motor oil
down a municipal drainpipe. Stay tuned. It promises to be exciting.
Nothing but air
Why don't you guys review sports games?
-D. Marino
Because we're gay. Just kidding. Our being gay has nothing to
do with why we don't review sports games. We don't review sports
games because we grew up drawing dungeons on graph paper instead
of "going out for football" (we think that's how you say that).
Accordingly, you will find us reviewing RPGs and maybe even the
occasional home architecture program.
Are those real?
I don't think these letters are real. You guys published
one last week with my name on it, but I didn't write it.
-Curious in Poughkeepsie
We promise the next letter is absolutely real.
Gret name for site
Dear Guy it look like i have site that will be up there site
that regular vist like toms,firing squad. Here is great piece
you could how the old games that started the pc games are done
over again. The game i am waith for is Starfight now that was
a game or or Empire . Great Site
-R. Grunwald
We appreciate your apparent enthusiasm! As for remakes of old
games, it is our dirty little secret that sometimes we prefer
Nethack over Diablo II. And, yes, we agree that Starfight was
a game. We think.
Neverwinter Nights in 2002?!?!?
You realize you've probably got mailbombs from eager NWN fans
over wishing
it will come out in 2002, right?
-Clifford Anderson
Tom realizes no such thing because he's still carefully going
through email that promises hair regrowth, $50,000 in three weeks,
and secret youth cream. It's all fascinating stuff that he cannot
afford to ignore.
Got questions for us? Send them here.
Read last week's Astonishing Letters here.