60 Second Review of…
Max Payne
Tom's Review: With practiced bravado and a 'who farted?'
squint, Max Payne rips up New York with spectacular gunplay and
Unbelievably Bad storytelling. But you're not in it for the story,
are you? Maybe Remedy doesn't know how to talk or write real good
because they're Finnish (I'm sure they'd do a slam bang job with
a story about vodka, reindeer, and being steamrollered by the Soviet
Union), but but they know how to put cinematic action into a computer
game. The bullet-time/slo-mo action, ripped straight from John Woo,
3DO's Requiem, and The Matrix, works beautifully and the graphics
engine is simply splendid.
Mark's Review: When I was a kid I played little league
football. They had a "light" and a "heavy" league.
I was "light" but just barely. To make weigh-in my dad
took me to Kerpan's Spa in the city, down off Kingshighway, so I
could steam off a few pounds. Kerpan's was an old-time spa. It smelled
of sweat, chlorine, after-shave, and cigars. Men walked around nude
and you could get a rubdown, lift weights, and even toss a medicine
ball around. The walls could have been built from some kind of testerone
extract, that's how much of a man's place it was. For those of us
sweating, they also had a very small pool filled with ice-cold water.
The idea was that when you couldn't stand the heat any longer you'd
jump into the pool I'm not sure why, something about pores.
Those extremes of hot and cold are Max Payne. It has some of the
best, most cinematic action I've ever experienced in a game right
alongside the very worst dialog and one of the most cliched stories
I've ever played through. And like my stay at Kerpan's, it was also
over very quickly.
Publisher: G.O.D.
Developer: Remedy
Genre: Third-person shooter
Requirements: The ability to get that god-awful narration out
of your skull.
August 24, 2001
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