You know how everyone has a vice? Like how some people are coffee addicts and some people are, well, heroin addicts? I’m a game addict. I want them all. I suppose part of this is my OCD, but there’s something deep and dark within me that makes me purchase these games and their collector’s editions with reckless abandon.
Point in case: I want Space Marine. However, I’m a big Gears of War fan and know I’ll be busy with Marcus and friends for quite some time. Luckily, the collector’s edition is only available from THQ and I hate waiting, so odds are I’ll just forget about it.
The lesson here, publishers, is to ship collector’s editions to stores so I can’t resist them. Or make two different ones, one I have to order from your site, the other I can get in stores. I’m looking directly at you, Dead Rising 2.
I’ve spent the last week or so playing Dead Island for a review over at GameShark. I’ve enjoyed my time with Dead Island, but as a reviewer, you have to move on. I’m currently playing Dead Rising 2: Off the Record for a preview and it’s throwing me off. For most games, I have a specific routine I follow based on the game and situation. I’ll be back in the swing of things shortly, but for now, I’m stuck in my Dead Island groove. To illustrate my point, I’ve written out my basic objectives when playing both games.
Dead Island Groove: Look around. Are there zombies? Probably. Are there a lot of zombies? If so, then I should run, if not I can choose to run or fight my way through. After the fight, check the dead for items and cash. Keep eyes open for vendor to sell to and a repair station for my weapons. Have thoughts about dieing alone. Die alone.
Dead Rising 2 Groove: Look around. Are there zombies? Probably. Are there a lot of zombies? Duh. Change into spandex shorts and a dress. Look for a bonnet. Laugh constantly during cut-scenes. Look for orange juice. Grab orange juice. Look for flashlights and gems. Take upskirt pictures for extra PP (Prestige Points). Take pictures of people being murdered for extra PP. Keep looking for orange juice, flashlights and gems. Kill every stinking zombie bastard you see. Be a douche.
You can imagine my conundrum.
One Mr. Tom W. Chick has been known to say “Fuck Star Wars” as his reaction to the new films, games or, well, anything. I don’t even think it has to be Star Wars related any more. While I don’t hate Star Wars as much as Tom (though I do hate it quite a bit now), I discovered that, after playing Dead Island, I’m done with sewers.
This quote from Adaptation sums up my feelings nicely:
John Laroche: Look, I’ll tell you a story, all right? I once fell deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one day I say, “fuck fish”. I renounce fish. I vow never to set foot in that ocean again. That’s how much “fuck fish”. That was 17 years ago and I have never stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.
Susan Orlean: But why?
John Laroche: Done with fish.
I’m just done with sewers.
The biggest joke in gaming is sadly not “Funny Ha Ha.”
Lately, the uproar has been about GameStop opening copies of the PC version of Deus Ex: Human Revolution and removing coupons for a free copy on the OnLive system. They weren’t really in the wrong on the point that Square/Enix shouldn’t have included coupons for a possible GameStop competitor without their knowledge. However, instead of holding the game back and discussing it with the publisher, they just opened them up, removed the piece of paper and then sold them as new. Is this legal? Maybe. Is it the right thing to do? I personally don’t believe so.
Though the Deus Ex thing is the latest hoo-haa for GameStop, it’s far from their first and certainly not the worst. With that in mind, lets take a look back at some of the other reasons you shouldn’t shop with GameStop.
After the Jump: GameStop, I Hardly Knew Ye
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Last weekend was the end of the 1,000,000 dollar tournament that marks the official reveal of gameplay for Defense of the Ancients 2, or DotA 2 for short. Valve chose the tournament route to coincide with the large European games convention Gamescom, hosted in Cologne, Germany – a show in which many game developers release post-E3, pre-holiday news for the gaming industry. The tournament, The International DotA 2 Championships, ended Sunday. The entire tournament was streamed from dota2.com and the matches are available afterwards via SD or HD videos, some with commentary, from YouTube. I’ve spent a good deal of my time over the last few days watching these matches and I’m now ready for the Beta. In fact, the more I watch, the more I want to play.
After the jump, I can’t wait to get my hands on DotA 2.
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OK, so, Star Wars: The Old Republic is on its way this year and I’m trying to work myself into a MMO frenzy by starving myself of social interaction. For instance, before our podcasts, I only speak to Tom through grunts and clicks. My wife, Sarah, and I communicate through a psychic link. (The psychic channel we use is the one I usually reserve for REALLY wanting Doritos, which has reduced my nacho cheese intake to close to zilch.) The idea being that I’m so starved for human contact that playing a new MMO will be a “rad social experience.” The downside is that now I have to wait for it to come out.
Or do I? Find out after the jump… Continue reading →
I remember this place. Dad and I came here on business once. I can see the little common house we stayed in. The yard I played in with my temporary friend — Angela, the inn-keep’s daughter. All of that is gone now, replaced with this endless war.
A sound. Gravel slipping, cascading. Could be nothing. A rifle report. Jenkins hits the ground. I wish it was nothing. It never is.
After the jump, the greatest show on Earth Continue reading →
The rain seems eternal, though I know it has only been going on for about 2 weeks, ripping the leaves from the trees and making the ground an ungodly mess. My feet are completely saturated and I don’t even wanna talk about the chafing. Humping it up to the top of the closest ridge, a building comes into view.
The place looks safe enough. An abandoned supermarket, though ravaged by war and time, is a better place to sleep than the woods in a rain storm. Only thing between us and it is a muddy bank and the parking lot. We slide down the embankment and double time it to the front of the building. Running on asphalt is a strange, otherworldy feeling to me now. Almost like deja vu but sadder… sweeter. The dried husks from this spring’s weeds disintegrate beneath my boot, repelling the invasion of nature into the world of man once again.
Hot Lokust action after the jump Continue reading →
I have a mental disorder known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Before I was diagnosed, I thought of OCD as the disease that makes you wash your hands constantly, but there’s so much more! Other than the “wake up in the middle of the night and check your door locks” kind of crazy, I also have a few others, though it’s not necessary to recite them here.
You may wonder what this has to do with Gears of War 3. I’m getting to it. Back off, man!
After the jump, I ch-ch-ch-choose you, Thrashball Cole! Continue reading →
My first command, this expedition, has gone downhill rapidly. The enemy leader is fighting against my grasp, so I tighten my stranglehold and she quiets down for the time being. I can’t tell if it’s the loaded snub so close to her head or the idea of what will happen to her if we get an evac, but her muscles are coiled and trembling. I’m backing up against the wall, watching the corner. Anya and Marcus are watching the one entrance while Baird and Dom grab some grenades from the bunker. I can hear them, grunting in that language of theirs, preparing to come in here, kill my men. All I pray is for my men to die quick, honorably. It won’t be so easy for me.
After the jump, here they come. Continue reading →
I’m hunkered down behind a wall of packed dirt and loose stone. The bullets rip the air a few inches from my face. The wall behind me and the surrounding dirt and cobblestone path explode into bits of debris that rise to form a cloud of dust. A smoke grenade comes sailing in and I slide further down my cover to avoid being stunned. My enemies believe I’m stunned, and I want them to.
After the jump, I count on it. Continue reading →
