Guild Wars 2: desire of wings

Now that Guild Wars 2 developer ArenaNet is committed to a schedule of new content every two weeks, I’m committed to working (i.e. playing) extra hard to keep up. Today is the start of the Bazaar of the Four Winds, which I presume means the end of the Dragon Bash festival. At least that’s what I was worried was going to happen as I was looking over the achievements for the festival and I noticed I wasn’t far from earning the Holographic Shattered Dragon Wings, which you can attach to your armor for a cosmetic effect. I’d seen several people running around with the wings. Naturally, it had occurred to me they’d look pretty nifty on a necromancer’s frilly outfit. Like princess faeries wings, but edgier. However, I wasn’t about to grind the achievements to earn them. I don’t care that much about looks. I mean, sure, I’ve colored my blouse and skirt with a tastefully coordinated combination of heather and strawberry cream. And I had to consider carefully whether I wanted the trim to be sea breeze or summer thistle. But I only did it because I had some time to kill while shopping for town clothes on the trading post.

So, sure, why not grab the wings before the Bazaar of the Four Winds started. To earn the last few achievements, I scarfed down a bunch of taffy, pausing occasionally to vomit, and finished the backstory dialogue with the members of the Ship’s Council, who were helpfully lined up in a row in the center of Lion’s Arch. All that was left was 18 more matches of Dragon Ball, which isn’t so bad. It could be worse. It could be 18 matches of keg brawl, which is like rugby, but with spells so that you spend even more time knocked down. But Dragon Ball is a straightforward Unreal Tournament style team deathmatch. You play on a simple map strewn with jumping pads and powerups. You start with only a single attack. Grabbing powerups earns you up to four more attacks. 18 matches would be easy enough. On the 14th match, I noticed that the wiki said Dragon Ball doesn’t apply to your wings achievement.

And that’s how I ended up running all over Guild Wars 2 to track down 41 dragon effigies that needed burning. Because it was either that or betting on moa races, and there’s no way I’m going to burn 50 silver a bet on something that’s probably rigged anyway.