Check out how many kills I have with the M249 in Battlefield 3. Heh heh heh.

fuck u tomchick

That message was delivered over the chat function in Battlefield 3 from someone on the opposite team who had been killed by me during a battle at the Capsian border. My first reaction was basically “Well, I never…“. I was on a server recommended by a friend for mature players who I didn’t think would type that sort of thing.

But my second reaction was to type something about how he should stop sucking and learn to play the game. I was ready to go there. But my third reaction, which kicked in only because I didn’t have time to type in stuff about stopping sucking and learning to play, was delight that he was irked, so I should just type in “u mad?”. My fourth reaction, which kicked in only because I had people to shoot, flags to cap, tanks to spot, ammo bags to chuck, and no time to look up the chat key, was that I should really try to rise above that sort of silliness.

Multiplayer shooters makes me as stupid as the other people playing them. I really enjoyed aggravating someone because I’m as good as I am*. But I should keep that to myself. If there’s one thing worse than a sore loser, it’s a sore winner. The worst stupidity comes from people crowing because they’re winning, which is worse than the more common stupidity where someone is berating his team because they’re losing. Competitive videogames aren’t just for kids. They’re for people with no sense of sportsmanship.

But for all the icky juvenile behavior that can be as infectious as cooties, I love Battlefield 3. And by way of a teaser, I also love another high-profile shooter coming out next week that I’ve had the opportunity to play. To me, they’re not quite direct competitors. They offer different kinds of experiences, and dramatically different ways to play. I suspect I’ll be playing both, trying desperately to retain the level of dignity that befits a grown man.

By the way, the chat key in Battlefield 3 is “K”. Next time, I’ll be ready when someone comes at me.

* I mean every word of that, but not as a boast