Reported! I’m fondling Geralt in my pointy boots

Woo hoo it’s LA Noire time, suckaz! Another tour de force outing for Rockstar! Aw yeah! This is what gaming is all about! Examining corpses! Trailing perps! Weird gunfights! Boring driving! Collectibles that nobody can find! Wait, what? Aw, shit. Maybe next time, fellas.

More big budget gaming disappointment (sort of) after the jump!

The Witcher 2 is out and despite being pretty frickin’ awesome and as difficult to grasp as the original, it joins its fellow American RPGs in being buggy as Hell (Day Zero Patch anyone?). Mostly it seems to be (arguably frightening) technical glitches as opposed to shoddy game design, so it should be OK. I’m in it for the boobs!

Fans of Angie Gallant’s original Tokimeki Girls Side Actual Play thread will be delighted to see she’s boytouching her way through Season 2. It’s easily the most entertaining thread about the physical and mental abuse of girls on Qt3!

How to make Qt3 Games Thread Dynamite: mention piracy and the used game market, spark with an actual developer comparing both, stand back and watch the fireworks.

The new Pirates of the Caribbean film is out and really, who gives a shit. I submit the PotC films also count as films with a dystopian setting because any world where Johnny Depp is boring and Ian McShane is squandered is no world I’d like to live in.

Two days ago the Rapture happened and as it turns out, only the Macho Man was worthy of ascension. I can’t fault the Lord’s decision here, honestly.

A DVD will be coming out soon documenting Arnold Schwarzenegger’s life with commentary by the man himself. I imagine 2011 will be “Yah, dis is da paht vere I totally skrood ze pooch. Vait I meant ze maid, not ze pooch! It’s hahd to remembah.”

You know you’re browsing Everything Else when the only threads that don’t want to make you cry involve lab-grown meat, horny Texas high school teachers and Roseanne Barr .

That’s it for this week y’all. If you need anything I’ll be rocking the dance floor in my frickin’ sweet Mexican dancing boots. I am sexy in them because they make me look daring.

Want more Bill Dungsroman? Get it at The Frip and the Dead. (WARNING: Contains mostly incomprehensible end game spoilers for Pathologic)