The Bulletstorm demo? I would so hit that.

You’re not an asshole, Mark. You’re just trying so hard to be.

I’m so charmed by this demo. I can’t help it. It brings to mind that friend who tries really really hard to be tough, especially to talk tough, but never quite gets there. He knows the words. He’s heard them all before. In movies probably. Or more likely he’s read them. But when he says them…not so much. It just doesn’t translate. It’s like he’s forcing little puzzle pieces together that clearly don’t fit. You like him so much, though, you let it slide. And eventually this becomes an endearing part of his personality.

This Xbox Bulletstorm demo is trying its darndest to be hardcore funny, but it’s such a dork. Dick-tits? Really? I should dismiss you out of hand, Bulletstorm. But I can’t. Because I think I love you, man. You’re just trying so hard with that pseudo-gruff pirate-voiced narrator. Grayson Hunt is the name? I’ll try not to giggle. Come over here so I can give you a noogy. What was that you wanted me to do? Bury my boot* in that freak’s poop passage? Poop passage? Did you really say that? Fine. You’re invited to the party Saturday night. You’re adorable.

Also, that leash thing. I like.

*pictured