Trevor shows up for Shoot Club a half hour early. He has a five dollar bottle of champagne. He's wearing a corduroy sports coat and a tie.
"Hey, you're wearing a coat and tie."
"You like the tie? My Mom says it used to be my grandfather's."
The coat is a little too small, so his arms kind of stick out.
"Here, why don't you give me your coat?"
He hands me the coat and I notice the sweat stains seeping out from his underarms.
"You know what, on second thought, why don't you go ahead and wear it," I tell him, "It goes with your slacks."
"You think? Yeah, I guess that's a good call. Hey, does my breath stink?"
Trevor leans over and gasps in my face. I feel flecks of spittle.
"Your breath is fine," I tell him -- and it is, since he's obviously been eating mints, "but don't be doing that to your date."
"Hey Trevor," Lisa comes out from the back room, "You look nice."
"You think? I didn't overdo it, did I?"
"No."
"Am I wearing too much cologne?"
"No, not at all," she lies politely. "Where's your date?"
"Oh, she's going to meet me here. I gave her the address and phone number. I hope that's okay. I also printed out a hard copy of a Yahoo map and gave it to her just in case."
"So who is she?" Lisa asks.
"Her name is Amy. She's this really cool chick who works at the Denny's where we sometimes go after Shoot Club."
"Is this your first date with her?"
"Yeah, I guess. I don't even know if it's really a date. I just told her we have this party kind of thing every week. So she says 'what kind of party?' So I told her to come and check it out and she says 'sure, how about next week?' so I told her 'sure' and went home and printed out the map and went back to Denny's and gave it to her."
"Why didn't you just ask her out to a movie or something first?"
"Well, it's not like I meant to ask her out. It just kind of happened. I don't even think we're dating. I mean, you know, it's not like I couldn't see other people or anything."
"Well, I think when she gets her you should introduce her to everyone and then take her out for a drink somewhere," Lisa says.
"You think?"
"Yeah. Just hang out here for a little bit and then ask her if she wants to get a drink. I think she'd have more fun going somewhere and talking to you instead of watching you guys geek out."
"Okay, good idea."
Trevor breathes a little easier now that Lisa's given him a definite plan of action. She mouths the words "Someone Like You" as she takes Trevor's champagne and goes to put it in the refrigerator. Trevor pulls me aside.
"Hey, I don't have anything," he says, "Do you have anything I could borrow?"
"What do you mean?"
Trevor glances around to check for Lisa. She's in the other room.
"You know. In case," he says, under his breath.
"Condoms, you mean? I don't have any. We use birth control pills."
"Oh, hey, that's cool, too, whatever. Do you think I could borrow a couple for tonight?"
Trevor is 38 and lives with his mother. I don't think he's a virgin, but at times like this I'm not so sure. We don't talk about things like that anyway.
"That's not how they work, Trevor. I tell you what. Why don't you cross that bridge when you get to it. If things start happening, it's better to make her wait anyway."
"Yeah, good idea."
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