The Geryk Analysis
Majesty

Look. I'll be the first one (well, the second one, I guess, since Tom beat me to it) to acknowledge that cute things are cute. My cat is cute. I can play with my cat by getting a lint ball from my dryer and throwing it into the middle of the living room. She will immediately dive after it, scattering it into a million pieces. This confuses her, since she isn't sure which piece to chase next. I can sometimes direct her, by keeping a large piece in the air longer. That gets her attention, and she will chase it. I guess this is like strategy in Majesty: where do I build that goddamn Tavern? Over there? Okay! Now everyone come visit the Tavern! I am rockin'!

The problem is that Majesty compromises player control simply in order to create some kind of atmosphere of uncertainty. Which is ridiculous. Because this uncertainty presumably leads to a feeling of "being immersed" in the game. You know what? Get a Dungeon Master. Not the computer game, but an actual guy with long fingernails. I've seen this desire for limited control before, where people want to be an emperor and dispatch minions to carry out missions, without knowing how well the minions will perform. What's the point of this? To make you better able to role-play a real emperor? You're either playing a strategy game, or you're dressing up like an elf. If you choose the elf, you have real issues.

I'm not a bricklayer, but I'm also not a doctor. Yet. So I'm not about to sit here and give you advice on how to deal with your glaring mental and emotional deficiencies. Maybe there is some therapy somewhere where you just sit in a room and play Majesty all day and night, and watch the rogues and warriors and whatever the Hell else populates that game fight all the bad spiders until you're ready to deal with reality. Hey, after taking Pharmacology, that actually sounds like a viable treatment. But another viable treatment is rolling up a character and going through the Dungeon of Orc Madness, because if you're looking for a real role-playing experience, you shouldn't be dancing around with some virtual wizard management game. Grab those dice, figure out your Charisma, and determine your Armor Class, because your Dungeon Master can make you feel like you have a lot less control than you do in Majesty. Just don't miss your saving throw. And then bite me.

Taaaax collector!

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