Bastard beta testing!

When I got Black & White, I really liked it but knew pretty early on that if I tried to play it on-line, it would cause brain hemorrhaging from frustration. The multiplayer mechanics practically beg for very evil deeds of frustration.

So the real questions are:

1) Is this a good thing?
2) If not, what can we do about it?

These issues don't even touch on the cheating issues. I think the best solution for cheaters is capital punishment.

But as for the two questions at hand: No, it's not a good thing. When Civilization 3 comes out, if it lets me play multiplayer, I don't want to discover that it's better to build phalanxes instead of tanks and that to play competitively we're all going to have to figure out how to crank out the most phalanxes.

So how do we solve it? The solution: Bastard beta testers! Go out and find some of these guys (like me!) to beta test the multiplayer games. And listen to them. Blizzard did this with Starcraft and it helped some. But they resisted making changes because they kept referring to problems as "cheese" tactics and tried to appeal to people's sense of honor not to use them. Yeah, right, tell that to the guy who thinks it's cool to "com nap" in Total Annihilation.

A bastard beta test will help expose those problems early on. Just find the guys who are really good on the various ladders and ask them to join your beta. Or hang out on the comp.sys.* Usenet groups and make mention that you're looking for a bunch of bastards to test your game.

Who knows, maybe eventually we'll be able to play games on-line in a way that almost resembles the way that the game was meant to be played. As for me, I have to get back to beaming my opponent's top player now…

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