Here is the Max Payne review we've all been waiting:
http://actionvault.ign.com/features/reviews/maxpayne.shtml

It is as long as the game almost! From the great IGN Gamescene. You can tell that, instead of the other reviewers, this is a man who has played the game, and he has played it very well. Very through!

Here is the ending, with the highest rating: "If there is indeed more on the horizon, then the teams' initial achievements speak well for the future."

Very good!


Greetz..

That has to be the funniest review I have read in a bit. Can any review have enough quotes from Scott Miller? Oh, excuse me special report. A special report review.

With IGN's current state of finances and the wacky idea that anyone cares about max payne now, how much do you think IGN was paid for this piece?

Chet

Yeah, it's a complete piece of shit review, as usual for a web review. Gotta love lines like this:

"Among the most basic of functions is character movement. Using the cursor keys, you can navigate Max, who always runs, in any of the four primary directions"

Garbage

Greetz!!!!

Wow, I wonder if, by using a combination of the 4 cursor keys, you can also move Max in one of the 8 seconday directions.

This review puts the "Ass" in Biassed. This is an ad for the game, pure and simple.

I hate it when you buy a game and you can only move in 3 of the 4 primary directions.

"I hate it when you buy a game and you can only move in 3 of the 4 primary directions."

You must have hated Pac Man

I think from now on, I'm going to run my reviews through babelfish... translate to spanish, then french, then german, then back to english... turn in the resulting product.

>>I hate it when you buy a game and you can only move in 3 of the 4 primary directions."
>You must have hated Pac Man

Uh, broken joystick?

Stefan

Pac Man would have been fine. Spy Hunter on the other hand...

- Alan

"Uh, broken joystick? "

Woops. Have no idea what I was thinking now.

Wow, I wonder if, by using a combination of the 4 cursor keys, you can also move Max in one of the 8 seconday directions. - Jim Frazer.

Apparently you can, to extend Wumpus Fan's earlier quote, it proves so much more enlightening:

"Among the most basic of functions is character movement. Using the cursor keys, you can navigate Max, who always runs, in any of the four primary directions plus another four intermediary ones"

Speaking of mutli-translations, here's 3 a.m. translated to French, then German, then English.

Scary.

"SNK close. They can remind you as generators of the Koeniges of the soldiers and neo the bag of geo of it, a Handheld nice, which would have to make better Sirtech, which likewise closes, after the version released demo from Wizardry 8 from 150 Megohm of the available play for remote loading. It is available for 3d Gamers. majestically is now available for the detail and contains the five first episodes. By having ea waited the on-line signups for play in other messages ea up-hung we received finally a response from p. r. ea regarding Battletech 3025. It is in the development and not by the new dismissals of EA.com was not always concerned b�tas the bites, a long editorial location continue ** time out ** in other gamesite message, several main thing, in Gamestats network to imply to have to resign their Egghead position to have official to fight its virtual door legend to close a fine knocking ' of mmog carrier upward to have memory friendship lures to transmit dish final to have control and in doubling for supply film theatre European host with language version EverQuest more maintained to localize on November to become 1.. "

Oh my god... Met K has discovered the secret formula by which Japanese RPG's are translated!

"It is available for 3d Gamers. majestically is now available for the detail and contains the five first episodes."

Tell me you haven't seen something like that on a Japanese package, hehe.

www.engrish.com

- Alan

>>"I hate it when you buy a game and you can
only move in 3 of the 4 primary directions."

I want to play Max Payne with the trackball on
my Tempest machine, so I can spin him in
ALL directions. Including upside-down, so he
he gets really dizzy. I'm hoping he'll look like
Stuart Little when he got stuck in that washing
machine, except without the soap and with
waaaay less polygons.

Reminds of the Fallout spinny-dance they warn you about in the manual. Hey wait a minute, I was forced to use that funky hexagonal movement system. Damn you Black Isle, and your lack of primary directions! ;)

- Alan

If you load up the Kung-Fu mod, Max does some nice spin kicks.

I went to see "The One" last week. The most prominent special effect in this movie is a rip-off of Max Payne's style of bullet-time. It looks cool with real people.

Of course, Max Payne's bullet time is a rip off of the Matrix's bullet time. Max Payne was in development for like 6 years. Did the developers ever show a build with the bullet time gameplay before the Matrix came out?

Well, according to the makers of the game, they got the idea from John Woo (Is that his name? It doesn't sound right just now...) and his film-making style. They claim it was there long before the Matrix.

Doesn't seem to me that there's any reason for them to lie about it. Why would it be better for them to rip off one movie vs. another?

Yeah, the slow-motion-leap-through-air-with-two-handguns is signature John Woo. The Matrix style bullet-time is just a refinement of the older rotate-the-camera-around technique used for still images, like in that GAP commercial.

- Alan

Well, slow motion diving shot was there, but did Woo ever show the bullets slowly flying throught the air? I'm not as up on my Hong Kong Blood Operas as I should be. I ask because I had never read that Max Payne would have that effect as part of the gameplay until the reviews started coming out.

Brad Grenz