If this man really exists---and a site really pays him to write reviews---then I'm officially denouncing the Internet's mainstream game sites and going back to magazines and small-sites.

Maybe we can plant him in Lieberman's anti-game campaign, that'll completely discredit and destroy Lieberman's campaign and any future anti-game campaign's for sure.

Why oh why must I be hunted across time and space and the Internet like some kind of ex-U.S.-senator-from-Nebraska-turned-accused-war-criminal?

Is it just me or is Eric the funniest man in gaming?

I have a little theory on this. Erik wrote Bruce's column, and Bruce wrote Erik's column. Good lord, man. How do we tell these two guys apart?

Though I do give Erik credit for being there first before the groupies appeared.

wumpus http://www.gamebasement.com

It's just Bob.


Well, I'm sorry, you can't set yourself up like that and not expect people to whack the ball off the tee. :D

Actually, I thought Bruce's article was funnier.

Does that make me gay?

Good lord, what will I tell my wife.

Tell her you want to keep all the pet animals in the family-and her chartreuse gown.

Hail! I am such a master of the obvious.

I couldn't tell it was a joke, I think I'll go back to doing whatever it is I do now, before I make an even bigger idiot of myself. =)

If it was socially acceptable to rate games by how gay they are, I'd do it on my site all the time. I'd have a few different levels, each corresponding to how gay a game is:

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger
2. Bruce Willis
3. Brad Pitt
4. Leonardo DiCaprio
5. Andy Dick
6. Bruce Geryk

I'm just kidding. Bruce, I don't know you, I'm not familiar with your work, and you have a 'y' in your last name... if that doesn't mean you're cool, I don't know what does.

I'm certainly, most definitely, without a doubt more like Erik.

Yet, in the case of Majesty, I still have to side with Bruce. That game's just not my type.

There's just one thing that makes me question the authenticity of Erik's article. It's that reference to Blatz. I can't believe a man of Erik's, er, discriminating taste would drink that piss water.

A couple of years ago when we were really strapped for cash, I moonlighted in the liquor department of a Chicago area drugstore. We were just a good belch away from Milwaukee and we didn't even carry that stuff. Our discerning customers would buy Miller Lite by the truckload, but nobody even asked for Blatz.

Bub, you're up in the neck of the woods, do they still even make that stuff?

What's up with Erik & Bruce's last names, anyway? Is this "battle of the Polish" or something?

"Bub, you're up in the neck of the woods, do they still even make that stuff?"

-coughs out his Guiness Stout-

Huh? Blatz? Don't know, but I suspect Erik was just using it for emphasis. Besides, he lives in Superior, Wisconsin.
(which is a city well known for it's attitude problem)

That's like, Minneapolis or Canada so far as I'm concerned. I'm surprised they ever have electricity much less the Internet up there.

-Andrew

Bub, that kinda talk will get you killed up here in Canuckenland ;)

"What's up with Erik & Bruce's last names, anyway? Is this "battle of the Polish" or something?"

I'm Polish, but I don't think Erik is.

I'm a Russian Jew.

Bruce, for some reason I've thought you were a fellow Russian Jew all this time. You're fired!

Hire a strange German Jew like me. I'm kidding, I'm not Jewish... although it is pretty fun to tell people that.
"I'm a German Jew."
"WOW! REALLY?!? I didn't know any survived that thing."
"We didn't. I'm genetically enhanced."

Heh. I have a friend who has ancestors that are both German and Jewish...

He is a German Jew...

That's just GOOFY!

This is totally off-topic, but I'm going for a looooong drive tomorrow, and I need some cruisin' music. Any suggestions? Broad musical tastes:

Depeche Mode
Deftones
Staind
Duran Duran
A Perfect Circle

That's really broad.

When my wife was still working, she was working in the Los Angeles office of a company headquartered in Atlanta, and had the following conversation in December with someone at HQ. Imagine the Georgia accent on the HQ person's lines.

Wife: "That's everything on my end. Anything else?"
HQ: "Nope, y'all just have a Merry Christmas, or, uhh, or whatever you people celebrate."
Wife: "Umm, what? What do you mean 'you people."
HQ: "Well, y'all are Jews, aren't ya?"
Wife: "No; why do you think that?"
HQ: "Well, y'all got that 'berg' on the end of your name, and your husband's a lawyer, right?"
Wife: "Yes, but it is a German name."
HQ: "Oh, really? OK, well, Merry Christmas then!"

And my father-in-law, who made the same assumption, wonders why we don't come to visit him in Kentucky.

Well then, Erik, if you and Bruce are representive of Eastern European heritage game reviewing, I'm all for it.

Hey, Before E3 GameSpot published in their "Question of the Week" what Bruce was looking forward to at E3. This week they've got their E3 impressions, but, alas, nothing from Bruce. What happened, Bruce? Were they afraid of what you had to say about space elves?

"This week they've got their E3 impressions, but, alas, nothing from Bruce. What happened, Bruce?"

What happened is that their QOTW deadlines are usually very tight. Ever since E3 I've been doing little else besides work, and a day or two notice doesn't work. Not GameSpot's fault -- they certainly have no obligation to cater to my schedule. But it simply means that the only time you'll see me answer one of those questions is when deadline and free time coincide. So don't hold your breath on these.

That said, I got a deadline extension on this week's question so that I could submit an answer.

The man outdoes himself in his answer to this week's GameSpot Question of the Week. I couldn't get the link to display properly here, probably because the URL has commas in it. But just head on over to GameSpot and you'll find Bruce's answer on about page 9 of the article.

Wumpus should love this, because we find out what makes a great online game from a man who has never played an online game.

And, of course, elves are included.

Hey, just FYI -

If a link has commas in it, you can put a backslash in front of the commas and Discus will ignore the comma as script, and just use it as part of the link. It's kind of a hassle, but it can be done.

You can read Bruce's statements here.

Truly wonderful -- Bruce at his best!

I liked Camper Van Beethoven too.

Pictures of Matchstick Men, right?
They redid that Status Quo classic? Sort of a psychedelia-ska band?

>>They redid that Status Quo classic? Sort of a psychedelia-ska band?

Yeah, that was from their last CD. They were a pretty trippy band... not really ska, more like fake world music in between pop songs like "Take the Skinheads Bowling." And David Lowery sings like a stoned surfer (he would, of course, go on to more fame with Cracker).

This week, our man defines, if not what is mainstream, certainly what isn't:

"A good rule of thumb for what is not mainstream is basically anything that would make a girl think you were a dork if she saw you with it."

And, surprise, Bruce doesn't think elves are mainstream.

This isn't a bad case in point but how many women on a train will love a guy in facepaint on his way to a football game?

How many might confess to watching Xena once in a while or, for that matter, the Mists of Avalon miniseries?

I think Geryk's mostly right but I do think the culture is changing. PBS doing 'Gormengast'? TNT's 'Mists of Avalon'? And has anyone heard of a big ticket production of some trilogy called 'Lord of The Rings'? Fantasy fiction, and in time games perhaps, are coming out of the cultural ghetto. Hell, even Xena and her legions are having an influence now and likely into the future.

You see, Freaks and Geeks may not have stayed alive as a series but those wee little D&Ders are the guys who won the digital revolution. You think those dollars and empathies aren't affecting what happens in pop culture? Also look at the empowerment of women for another impetus. There's a seeking for identity among many groups in the technological and social tumult of our times. It wouldn't have surprised Joseph Campbell one bit - this resurgent popularity of myth and it's cousin fantasy. Hell, someone smarter than me should do an article on it. :)

Freaks & Geeks remains the best series I've ever seen canceled. Thank goodness for the Fox Family Channel...

-Andrew