I was recently forwarded this e-mail. As all things Gordian, I found it terribly amusing. I hate to open this can of worms agai.. ah, who am I kidding. Just enjoy.

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From: The Gord
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 3:19 PM
Subject: Update

Well, after much delay the next update to http://www.actsofgord.com is complete.

A complete graphic overhaul to the site is the first thing you'll see. Next, I've added about 25 stories so far. And yes, I know the spiffy arrow bar isn't working yet. I'll have that working slowly over the next couple days.

Further, show your love for the Gord! ;) Feel free to send donations via PayPal. The email for that is [email protected]. More info on the main site about what donating gets you.

More good news. I'm planning on catching up on the backlog I have to do. So, hopefully 40 stories by weeks end. I'll send another update out at that time when they are all done (that way you inbox doesn't get flooded with messages from me).

After that, I'll be back to weekly updates. So it will all be good. :)

And for those of you who like to bookmark pages, the new site has static pages! Never again will you have to worry about links going to the wrong page because I updated and moved stuff around.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in.

Hope you enjoy.

-Gord
[email protected]

"Feel free to send donations via PayPal."

That's on my "TO DO" list, right after the DIY root canal.

By the way holmes, you never gave us the answer to your "Softporn Adventure" trivia contest. My guess was Roberta Williams. Are you just going to leave us hanging out to dry, like Gord's third testicle?

Hey, check this out!

Mr. Hardcore Whupass whining about how Blockbuster had the nerve to send him a form letter asking him to pay for them money he owed them for DVDs.

http://www.actsofgord.com/page47.html

Jesus, if a simple form letter notifying him of delinquency of payment is enough to earn Blockbuster such enmity from our Gordy, he'd probably go apeshit if one of their employers tried to take a slap at him!

Sorry. Yeah, it's Roberta "I love OMM" Williams.

I lost some of my respect for Gord with the whole "send me money" thing. Doesn't he run a for-profit video game store? What's the point of all those strongarm badass tactics to protect your livelihood, if you're just going to beg for money like a street urchin?

'What's the point of all those strongarm badass tactics to protect your livelihood, if you're just going to beg for money like a street urchin?'

Providing content is expensive, apparently.

Unfortunately, Blockbuster doesn't send out friendly love letters asking to come and pay.

It was "Pay this $9.47 with ten days of us mailing it, or we're going to turn it over to collections and sue you! But we don't want to lose you as a customer..."

That's pretty harsh language over a warning letter to a customer thats in the store every couple weeks.

You'll notice I didn't disagree with their right to demand payment, I just noted that I was not impressed in the manner on which they demanded it. Hell, I even had a BlockBuster Rewards account and was spending a lot of cash there.

Just saying it was handled poorly, especially since I was one of their larger customers.

-Gord

"it was handled poorly, especially since I was one of their larger customers."

Yeah, they should not be pissing off a tub-of-lard like yourself, G.

-O'Samma

As for the "money" thing, if you bothered to read up on the site, it's for future web projects. It even says on the site that any money given won't go towards food or games (I don't need money for that), but rather towards the cost of running a site that serves up a couple million page views a month and new site ideas.

And I had received a number of emails from people asking if they could send in a few dollars for making them laugh (as they noted the site had no advertisements). Granted, it was a very small minority of the email I get, but still more than I was expecting. The mentioning of the PayPal option in the contact email just lets everyone know at once.

But if I'm going out of pocket for time and money, future projects will certainly be done a lot slower pace, if at all. At least if people have sent in money, I'll get on doing the new stuff I've been meaning to do.

-Gord

So, what are these "future projects?" Renegade grannies that need to be taught a lesson?

Okay, perhaps that was a bit out of line. Sorry.

Stop Grannie! Fear my justice! :P

Two other main projects I've been meaning to do. One would be a site that would be "in the name of Gord" or something, which would be the horrors that others have seen or been the victim of.

There would be various sections. "The Witnesses!" for just tales of general ignorance, and other sections for people who stood up to it. Etc. That sort of thing, as a LOT of people have sent me their stories.

Another site would be for a comic strip like Penny-Arcade. That would be a mix of events that happened, and new fictious events. Most people seem to like my writing style, and would seem to like such a project.

As well, well just doing a lot more writing in the "Proclamations" section, as writing things that are long takes a lot of time.

Even if I didn't do anything, I'll still keep ActsofGord.com and update it regularly. The extra projects are a result of people asking for more.

-Gord

I know I shouldn't, but...

So Gord thinks its okay to beat up 15 year olds who don't pay him his fees, but he is mad at blockbuster for sending him a collection notice over the same kind of fees he owes them?

Maybe he only understand strong arm tactics. I guess he would have accepted it easier if they had taped the note to a brick and thrown it thru his window.

Chet

Blockbuster is awfully quick to hop on the collections wagon, which might add to why he's upset. Does any of this really matter though?

"it was handled poorly, especially since I was one of their larger customers."

They were MEAN to you? Awwwww...

So you gonna keep shopping there? Or will you close your Blockbuster Rewards account and go home?

droG

"As for the "money" thing, if you bothered to read up on the site, it's for future web projects. It even says on the site that any money given won't go towards food or games (I don't need money for that), but rather towards the cost of running a site that serves up a couple million page views a month and new site ideas."

Why don't you advertise your store there? Or sell games.. or something? I intensely dislike the concept of begging for income on websites. Begging is about as un-Gord as you can get.

"Why don't you advertise your store there? Or sell games."

Because he doesn't actually own a game store. He actually works at Wal-Mart, and these are his fantasies of what life would be like if he owned his own dream store.

Troubled dreams, mon ami. Troubled dreams.