Jesus, Chick, what do you have against Finnish people? That was a pretty poor attempt to add some OMM-style humor to a review that would have otherwise been a scant three sentences long.

Half-Finnish Foo'

He could have worked in this. They got off easy.

Hey Foo,

For the record, Anon, both of my parents are Finnish. I can make all the jokes about Finlandization that I want.

-Tom

Disclaimer: Neither of my parents is even remotely Finnish, but I felt the need to add some extra 'oomph' to that last post.

Haven't played Max Payne, but I believe Tom is a bit off on the "being steamrollered by the Soviet Union" part. In high school my family hosted a couple of Finnish exchange students. Both of them were very proud of the fact that their country fought with the Soviets and still remained independent as opposed to much of the rest of Eastern Europe. One's grandfather had actually taken part in the fighting and described it as Finns on skis outmaneuvering Russian troops with tanks. Ever hear of the a Molotov cocktail. It wasn't invented by Russians just named after one - it was used against them by the Finns.

In verifying my memory of the Molotov cocktail, I found this link which described in a fair about of detail the Winter War between Finland and the Soviet Union:

Winter War

On the other hand, Tom is right on about the vodka. Before one went home, he bought all the Levi's he could carry. They weren't for him or his family. They were to trade with the Russians for vodka. This was the mid-80's with communism still going strong, but Finns could legally cross the border. The Finns would take the things Soviets didn't have (levi's, music, etc.) and trade for the one thing they had an ample supply of (vodka).

-DavidCPA

Actually, the reference to being steamrollered by the Soviet Union has nothing to do with their fighting during World War II. I know they did a valiant job and their ski troops are storied soldiers.

However, during the Cold War, it was a difference story. Anyone who's played Chris Crawford's Balance of Power is probably acquainted with the concept of Finlandization. :)

At any rate, it was an offhand remark and no offense was intended to any Finns, who are more than welcome to comment on the U.S. treatment of slaves, the stealing of land from the Indians, or even our current President.

-Tom

"Anyone who's played Chris Crawford's Balance of Power is probably acquainted with the concept of Finlandization. :)"

God that was an annoying game. Walking the fine line between peace and war got so damn tedious. I inevitably said "fuck it" and just dropped the bomb on them, Gap Band stylee.

I did enjoy the "we do not reward failure" dialog, though. What can I say? I'm perverse.

http://home.satx.rr.com/cdma/randy%20newman%20-%20political%20science.mp3

Just for the record Finlanders are a wierd bunch. All stoic and reserved most of the time but piss them off and they will gut you and preserve you parts in a old bottle of vodka. Very odd people.

Anyway, as for the review, I know the narrative of Max Payne was very cliche, but it wasn't mind-numbing. If found I got use to it and after a while it barely made me blink. It's your typical "gumshoe" voice over and I am not surprised that the Fins think this is how all NY cops or P.I.s talk considering they are probably watching American reruns from the 50s over there. I am surprised they didn't mention dismay at not finding N.Y. city in balck and white when they showed up.

Jeff

Wow, a more nationally bigotted post could not be made.

I met someone once who told me that all Ukranians beat their wives. He wasn't kidding, either. He really believed it.

I have no national biases like this. Other than the simple undisputable fact that all Hungarians are crazy.

-Tom

"I have no national biases like this. Other than the simple undisputable fact that all Hungarians are crazy."

Likewise most Syrians have really bad body oder. I think it's actually a well-documented, genetic trait, but I don't have any links to support my claim. It's just as well, since everyone already knows this.

Getting back on topic, I'd just like to say I can never look at the Max Payne character again without thinking of that "who farted" line about his squinting. Thank you very much, Tom Chick.

"Anyone who's played Chris Crawford's Balance of Power is probably acquainted with the concept of Finlandization. :) "

BOP? Man, you're old. That's, like, monochrome PC with a dual-floppy drive stuff.

And don't forget: Italian and Irish women are all mentally imbalanced. And Italian-Irish women are just plain nuclear.

"BOP? Man, you're old. That's, like, monochrome PC with a dual-floppy drive stuff."

Old? That ain't old. Don't make me play Death Race on your head. :)

"And don't forget: Italian and Irish women are all mentally imbalanced."

My wife is half Swedish and half Irish (redhead, to boot). I know all about tempers now. (Though even she admits I'm way more dangerous if someone pushes hard enough to make my German/English blood angry.)

Re: teasing Fins. Her mother, who is 100% Swede, takes any chance to point out that, "Fins are just Swedes with their brains knocked out."

Re: teasing Fins. Her mother, who is 100% Swede, takes any chance to point out that, "Fins are just Swedes with their brains knocked out."

Likewise, Swedes are Finns with the spine ripped out...

OK, enough of this. Anyone seen that "Tokyo Breakfast" movie?

---

Quote:

Re: teasing Fins. Her mother, who is 100% Swede, takes any chance to point out that, "Fins are just Swedes with their brains knocked out."

---

A little Aggie joke, speaking of which:

An Aggie has failed his math mid-term, and is thus ineligible to play in the big game. After a petition has circulated, the professor agree to re-test him, publicly, at the stadium just before the big game.

In the midst of a fully-packed stadium, the professor addresses the player, and the crowd:

"This test has but one question. (Turning to player) What is two plus two?"

The silence becomes deafening. The player, squriming, thinks for several long minutes, knowing so much depended on his answer.

Finally, he replies: "Four."

A gasp of amazement comes from the crowd. After several muted seconds, everyone in the stands cries with one voice:

"Give him another chance!!!"

"Likewise, Swedes are Finns with the spine ripped out..."

I'm going to have to try that on her. Luckily, I'm faster than her.


My favorite school joke has always been:

Q: What is the difference between a (insert rival school name here) girl and a (rival school) Police squad car?

A: It takes *two* squad cars to block a road.

BobM wrote:
Wow, a more nationally bigotted post could not be made.

--------------------------------------------------

And my mom always told me I would never amount to anything. Boy is she wrong!

Jeff

I don't think you can consider the "aggie" as a mascot to A&M; an Aggie is a person who goes to A&M. Reville the dog serves the basic purpose of a mascot at Texas A&M.

--- Alan

Alan,

Thanks for the correction. You are exactly right. The official definition of an Aggie:

A student, former student or supporter of Texas A&M University. Term is derived from A&M�s agricultural heritage. Aggies are sometimes also referred to as farmers.

-DavidCPA

I was a little surprised to read an article in the LA Times today about one of the students injured in the 1999 bonfire collapse returning to classes. It referred to him as an 'aggie'.

'How rude,' I thought.

-Tom

No Aggie would consider it an insult to be called an aggie - it's a label they hold with pride.

Yup. Aggie jokes are similiar to Polish jokes; typically told by non-Aggies (though Aggies have been known to tell a few). However, an Aggie wears the name with pride, the university equivalent of being in the Green Berets in reference to the Army, but to non-Aggies makes very little difference.

Surprised to see the article in the LA Times at all. The student, BTW, is from the place where I grew up (Richardson, coincidentally where I still live) and think he went to the same high school too.

--- Alan

Back to Max Payne.. I find Scott Miller's comments about 45 out of 50 reviews praise the storyline (paraphrasing from Mark's Gamespin column) highly dubious. In fact I'd say its probably the other way around.

--- Alan

Yeah, I didn't fact check the guy. :)

I appreciate Scott going back and forth with me over the writing. He could have just said no when I continued to claim that it was terrible.

Anyway, something a little different. I saw that Blue's linked to it and implied I was being unfair since the writer's Finnish and I used a Chandler quote at the top of the article.

>>I saw that Blue's linked to it and implied I was being unfair since the writer's Finnish and I used a Chandler quote at the top of the article.

What a load of crap. If it was set in Finland, maybe that criticism would have some merit, but last I checked, Max Payne was set in NYC and full of alleged American characters (excepting the Russian gangster). To criticize it for not being "American" enough (which you didn't do, but even implied) is totally valid. If you tried to write Finnish noir, I'd hope you'd do some research to get the dialogue right. And they'd mock the fact you got it all wrong.

And he ducked the comment about the dialogue sucking, saying other reviewers praised the story. Last I checked, those were different things.